lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
