you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
