Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
