Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
