i think my tv is drunk
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
