he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
