I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I touched a dick in church today
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
