So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
