party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize