her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
