That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
