We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Come on in and take your pants off
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