she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
