Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
