You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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