What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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