I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
