There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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