I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
