We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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