It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fuck appropriateness.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pants are for mortals
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize