Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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