i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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