i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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