The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
