and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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