i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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