Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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