The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
