And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
