I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
