Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
