so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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