We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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