Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
