Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
