We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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