Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
