who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
