I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
