I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
