Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize