i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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