Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
