Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
