I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
