Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
