One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
