is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
