and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
