Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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