I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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