Is it because I queefed?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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