Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
