Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need moral support for this bender
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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