i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
