Quick, to the slutcave!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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