ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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