bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
