i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
