You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
