i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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