the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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