If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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