I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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