only if we run a train.
done.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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