Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
