I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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