Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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